Post chemo

I wrote the prayer that opens this blog just after finishing chemotherapy for FAP related stage 3 colon cancer. This was a very ominous time for me. Wonderful that I was done with chemo - no more treatments, but at the same time terrifying that I was done with chemo for I had no 'safety net' so to speak. If there were some straggling cancerous cells in my body, there would be no more poison shot through my veins to seek these cells out and destroy their genetic makeup and keep me well. So what most people considered a time of celebration was for me a time of fear. I had no control over my body or what it did. At least with the chemo I felt I had a defense of sorts. But now I had reached a point where I had to have more than chemo to help me fight. And I found that 'something'. The prayer basically wrote itself.

I've been off of chemo for over five years now. I've struggled through numerous surgeries, procedures, biopsies, scans, scopes and x-rays. This life is not an easy one as the testing is constant and for the rest of my life. But I have adjusted. My latest struggle involved a bout of severe pelvic pain this past fall with no found reason. I was finally diverted again to the ileostomy. Life with an ileostomy isn't the most fun thing in the world but it's very possible, especially when it removes one's pain as it did for me. I do feel much better these days and we believe the pain was due to inflammation around the anastomosis or reconnected area. Monday, March 9th I will see my doctors in Charleston at the Medical University of South Carolina (MUSC) for check ups and CT scans to check for any changes. We're hoping there ARE changes indicating the inflamation has gone down and a reconnection might be possible in the future, if I decide to go that route. I don't know yet if I will decide to reconnect or leave the ileostomy in place. Luckily, I don't have to make that decision in a hurry. There is no rush on this one. Thank God.