I am not a number

What a crazy crazy week! It's been tough, that's for sure! Chronic illness is never fun but add another passing illness to that and oh boy! I can turn into a crybaby right fast! This time it has been a throat infection which tested negative for strep BUT won't go away without antibiotics. This was given to me by my wonderful 14 year old son. Fever, sore throat, overall just plain awful feeling. Yet life must go on no matter how rotten I feel! It didn't take me long though, after dipping into crybaby poor me mode, to realize that although I might feel poorly, at least I was HERE to feel poorly. Eight years ago things could have gone quite differently for me. My cancer was advanced. My body was weak, anemic. My prognosis.......well I don't know what my prognosis was. I refused to hear this, refused to allow the doctor to tell me this and in fact when my husband asked the surgeon about this I quickly jumped into the conversation and asked him not to answer that question. This information is based on statistics. Statistics are numbers. I am NOT a number. I am a living, breathing, child of God and He alone knows the number of my days. What good would knowing my prognosis do me? I was going to fight with every bit of my might anyhow. I wasn't about to put up less of a fight just because my chances might not be as great as I had hoped. I jumped into this fight with both feet on June 13, 2003 and nothing was going to change that. I look at every day as a gift. I have been given a gift of eight years now. Eight years I might not have had. Eight years for which I am very, very grateful.

Another year later.....

Wow! It has been more than a year since I last posted. Apparently I stink at this. BUT it is a new year now and I have new goals and this blog is one of them. I started it originally thinking it might help some families going through this drastic disease, FAP. It affects the whole family and is a lot to deal with. We have had our share of trouble. Almost two years ago my husband and I had to separate for a while. Things just got too tense. I didn't feel well, he couldn't understand this. We agreed to seek counseling. Wonderful things happened then. We began to communicate, to see things from the other's perspective. We went from snarling like wolves every time we saw each other to being able to sit and talk. Anyhow, what does this have to do with my blog?? I still see the counselor, am learning much and one of the things that has been suggested for me is to write. Every day. Every single day. I haven't been doing this. I am going to now. Writing is very cathartic and a wonderful outlet, especially for someone as shy as I.

Health wise, I have had my struggles. Last March I had a GI hemorrhage that landed me in the hospital for 11 days. I lost a lot of blood and had to be transfused with two units of blood. The blood from another person, a person so kind and thoughtful as to donate their own blood, a person to whom I am so eternally grateful and remember in my prayers nightly is flowing through my veins. This unknown person saved my life. God bless them This fall I suffered two abdominal blockages about a month apart. Both resulted in a week in the hospital. The staff knows me by name there now! I have changed my diet to a low fibre diet. So far I have avoided any more blockages but I have put on weight. Okay, so I needed a few pounds. But I don't need as many as I gained so for the first time in a long while I am focused on LOSING weight! This is a GOOD sign! A sign of health that I can gain weight and keep it on. Praise be to God. But now I will need new clothes..........